I remember September 11, 2001 vividly of course.  I remember my then-companion Harry and I praying together before we headed off to our separate job sites.  I remember speaking with my widowed mother on the phone later that afternoon, assuring each other, sharing stories about our family and about my students.  But my lasting impression of the day is one of profound gratitude that I had a job in a public-school classroom, with students I loved, where I could go that horrific morning, and I felt useful.  All day I felt I had a purpose.  On a day like 9/11, there was no greater gift.

After that, for various reasons, the school year didn’t go so well, and in June I decided to take a leave of absence.  When I look back, it seems an immense energetic shift happened on September 11, 2001.  I think it affected everything and everybody.  For me, it ushered in changes that were unexpected but enlightening.  I spent the next couple of years writing, and also caring for my mother who had developed some significant health challenges.  I wrote my first novel, but I decided it wasn’t good enough so I didn’t publish it.  It was my practice novel.  I wasn’t ready then, but soon I would be.

My latest novel, Catherine Over Water, has nothing to do with September 11th.  Not really.  It is the story of a woman whose young daughter has been missing for five years.  Catherine has been living with an uncertainty that is acutely painful in its intensity.  Perhaps this is akin to the world we woke up to on September 12, 2001.  We’d been living in a state of “it can’t happen here.”  But then it happened, and we didn’t know what would come next.

Twenty-five years later, I guess we’re used to this feeling.  Or are we?  I don’t know.

Writing Catherine’s story put me in touch with anxiety, anticipation, fear—feelings that we all feel at one time or another. I think it’s safe to say none of us like feeling this way.  But often these emotions are the flip side of what happens when you love someone or something deeply.  No matter if what you love is a person, a place, a job, an activity, an animal, or artistic endeavor—if you give yourself over to them, there is great joy, but also an underlying fear, an anticipation of loss.  This is life.  It’s part of the package.  Get used to it.

I pray for and affirm peace and healing for all of us, as individuals, as community, as nation and planet.  We are all worthy of compassion, justice, and freedom.  We are worthy of love, happiness, fun, creativity, and beauty.  We are beloved of the Universe, channels for Divine Energy, worthy of God’s grace.  May we know the joy that is our birthright.

I hope you will check out my website here and order a copy or two of my new novel, Catherine Over Water.  It is currently available for pre-order from several online outlets, but this coming Tuesday is Pub Day, and it will then be available at your local book stores.  If you don’t see it, please ask them to order it.  It’s distributed by Simon and Schuster.

Thanks so much for being loyal readers!

Photo by Kaiyu Wu on Unsplashed