Five Ways to Spot a Narcissist–PLUS Five Ways to Create Clear Boundaries

Written with this prompt:  work in the names of magazines PLUS use the name of a magazine article as your title.  
I put 15 magazines in this piece.  Can you find them all? 




When they tell you
they have Better Homes 
and Gardens
than you do,

just walk into the Sunset.

When they tell you
they were late 
leaving you alone 
waiting in a busy diner for
over an hour because
Time 
is a human construct
and ultimately meaningless

just dive into the warm Atlantic ocean.

When they serve you
shit on a shingle,
call it haute cuisine
and say Bon Appétit

tell them you’ve very sorry
but you need to leave early
because you’re going 
to a May Day Parade
with all your New Yorker peeps.

When they tell you
they read an article
in Psychology Today
that explains exactly
what is wrong with YOU,
and that YOU 
oughta read it too,

jump into the pages
of Architectural Digest instead,
find your favorite new abode,
go inside and slam
the door in their face.

Remember:  
You’re a Rolling Stone, Baby,
You’re in Vogue
You’re InStyle
You’re The Sun
You’re a Star
You hold the Essence
of divinity in your heart
and your hands.

You’re worth so much more
than you can even imagine.

Photo by Zeynep Irmak on Unsplash